It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Some fluffy white clouds and plenty of sunshine with temps in the high 70's to low 80's and very little, if any, humidity. A perfect day to play with matches.
Mr. Effer loves his flower garden but hates the weeds and brush that accompanies it. He is always trimming a bush or two (get your minds outta the gutter). Unfortunately it takes him forever to burn the brush, so I took matters into my own hands....
Got matches? Check.
Got the wine? Check. Yago Sangria, cheap shit but it will do.
Got the brush at the base of a tree? Check. I want excitement!
Got a nice breeze? Check. I want big friggin' flames.
Got dry weather conditions? Check. Haven't had a good rain in three or four weeks.
Home alone? Check. I don't need no stinkin' help.
Everything was in place for an afternoon of excitement. I started the brush fire. Plopped my fluffy butt in a chair, grabbed the needles and a cheap bottle of wine. Everything was fine until I drank too much and decided to take a nap in the beautiful sunshine. I was so darn relaxed that I fell asleep. It didn't matter that a tree was catching on fire and cinder blocks were exploding. I snoozed right through it, nothing could wake up this knitter.
And who came to save the day?
Certainly not him!My dweebie neighbors came to put out the fire, and I profusely thanked them for saving the neighborhood and my tree.
And the neighborhood is now safe from this dysfunctional knitter.... Mr. Effer took away the matches and banned me from playing with fire.
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18 comments:
I'd love to sit in your backyard and knit with you.....if I drink the whole bottle of wine by myself the knitting suffers!
Thanks God you have neighbors close enough to have noticed! Remember, drinking and incinerating don't mix. Now pass the wine. LOL!
BTW, I would assume that I'm one of the knitting Queens on your sidebar.... hehehehehe...
*LAUGH* That totally sounds like something I would have done! *the fire and drinking thing that is*
Thankfully the neighbor was on the look out :)
the pictures just don't do it justice ::laughing::
it was a fine fire :)
Only you, Diana. Only you. :)
You are so damn funny!!! Bummer about the Chippendale firefighter not being able to make it, though!
Oh. My. God. I have a love of firemen that knows no bounds. And I like to think that I will go to great lengths to lure them to my vicinity. But not that far...
And if I'll I'm gonna get is the neighbor then I suppose it's not worth it anyway.
Glad that you, the tree and the neighborhood in general are all OK!
That is too funny. Good thing your neighbors were home - your knitting may have burned up next!!
Oh damn! And also, mmm. Fireman.
OK, check it out ... on the way home from Wiawaka you fell asleep in your car at a Thruway rest stop and burned the shit out of your face. NOW, you fall asleep in your backyard and nearly burn the neighborhood. Do we see any correlates here??? Good thing the time you came to my house to knit in your jammies and robe (yes she really did do that!!!) you didn't fall asleep here ... we've already had our share of burning down the house!
Bad girl! Matches HOT! Firefighter HOTTER! LOL
I did that when I was about 10. And am still afraid of matches!
Oh. My. Gosh. Sorry, but I had to howl out loud with laughter when I read your entry - I could so imagine you lying there, sleeping soundly while your backyard burned down - this sounds so much like something that could have happened to me too ;) Thanks God for your neighbors!
You wish that 'hotie' fireman came to your rescue. LOL!
LOL. No hot fireman to save the day, darn!! No more fires with wine, I guess.
I am so glad I met you! A hero, someone to look up to, a role model! Just stay the hell away from my children!
So next Wiawaka you are in charge of the bon fire right. Tell Mr. Effer all those exciting thing you can do for him and I am sure you will get the matches back before September!
I think I'd ban you from playing with fire too! Sometimes I wonder if you do these things so you have some good blog fodder... and then I realize, no, it's just something you'd do!
OK girl - time to update us on what you have been up to since the fire....come on - we'll understand :-)
Timing is everything ... you have to make sure the hottie firemen are on duty in your area first before lighting a fire you plan to sleep by.
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